I'd like to nominate myself for kook of the year. After careful consideration I can't recall a surf worse than the one I had today & it wasn't the waves fault. There were a few fun ones coming through & I saw some blokes surfing really well.
I mean I've had days where the banks are straight & I've been struggling to pull off a few insta floaters, like take off, straight into a slow speed floater ending. Or the time I walked miles down a SW beach to a remote reefie, paddled straight out into a big set & snapped my board without catching one wave. Times like that suck, but today just felt like total what the fark, don't bother picking up any lotto tickets on the way home.
To start with I planned on heading out the keyhole of my local. Waves were like breaking over the reef to the South side & washing out the keyhole pretty fast. Looked great for a quick entry out the back. I waded through the waist deep water & just as I sprung onto my stomach to paddle out, my legrope got caught around a rock. So I'm laying on my board sinking underwater from the pull of the strong current thinking hmmm ok. Got off holding my board trying to pull myself against this current to unhook or take off my leggy while waves are washing in hitting me making me stumble for great kook effect. Stoked!...After what felt like an extended period of kooking out I was able to wade against the current as a bigger wave washed over me. Unhooked my leggy & weeeee straight out the back in an instant, ready to put this BS behind me.
Some decent waves rolling through almost inconsistently & only 5 of us out. Couple of blokes picking the right waves & ripping the bags out of them. Conversation of if one bloke was doing the QS next year or not. Good surfers, but not taking advantage of their ability to gain extra waves. I'd take off on a wave & I'd either be too deep or it would have no wall. Paddle back out & this blokes like pulling a backhand air reverse. I just never seemed to be in the right spot for the decent ones, too deep, too wide or it just wasn't my turn to go & we were pretty much taking turns. No one was snaking, paddling inside of others after a wave. Just when it was my turn the set would break a bit wider & if I didn't call someone else to go I'd be too deep or I'd catch some grovelly small wave.
After about 90 mins the wind kicked up cross shore, it became inconsistent & a couple of blokes on longboards came out & kept paddling inside us. Really annoying when it was now like inconsistent one wave sets. So I paddled across to another break.
I caught one wave, it was my wave of the day. An off the top, some wall to pump up some speed into a floater into another floater & as I was coming down dry reef suddenly appeared. I'd gone a bit far. I kicked my board across the breaking section, landed flat arms legs straight out to reduce water penetration, then legs into a ball, arm over head as I got washed over into the middle of this reef. A reef azzhole reef consisting of heaps of nigger heads, like random shallow pillars too narrow to stand on & holes all over the place. I wanted to head back out but the waves were consistently sucking the reef dry right in front of me. I gave it one attemp but got drilled across the reef again like the ball in a pinball table. Thought nah fark this & just made my way in by laying flat & getting washed in, hitting the reef each time the waves receded.
Amazingly...& this is the one thing that counts against my nomination. My board didn't get dinged, pretty unbelievable. But anyway, I've had some bad surfs before. But kooking out on both the entry & exit from a surf in a big way. Just plain being in the the wrong place for like 99% of my time in the water really.
I would be very surprised if someone has topped this display of total kook'dom, this year or even in their life. I reckon the title is mine...YAY! 
Im sure we've all had days like this but they are best when it happens to someone else!!!
at least you "surfed" today...metro pus on offer for me
I paddle in when there was a beach in front of the car part earlier in the year on a bigger day and got flogged, rolled, dredged up and flogged again by a 1 foot wave......car park was full and mate watching up on the hill 
Sometimes your timing is about 5 minutes off.
we have all been there, and I put it down to this, instead of rushing your coffee and throwing your wet tie on you could of taken your time and been in the right spot or as I like to see it 5 minutes later or earlier in your timeline.
Subjectively there were millions of statistical options when you paddled out however due to the nature of chance the selected time window you paddled out in was out of sync with where you were both physically and spiritually.
5 minutes doesn't sound like long does it.
Thie above is my approach to these surfs and if anyone has a fairer or more just scenario please pray do tell.
I like to have one a year just to keep it real, generally mine is when I haven't had good waves for a month or so and than get pumping waves, I overfroth and get too excited than end up going too to bottom.
Thankyou for taking one for the team today, everyone else's turn is coming your done for at least twelve months
This happened to me once when i was caught inside at sewers for 2hrs. Think i duck dived about 100 waves
I've dinged a couple of previously unblemished boards coming in at that dodgy narrow keyhole at the end of the sandy carpark Ifocus, fun waves but I hate coming in there, I paddle South to the sandy beach now 
Fully aligned with my thinking Razz, just totally out of sync yesterday
Cheers fellas...I was hoping to hear some funny stories
My mate has photo evidence of me jumping of my board at the end of a close out. Thats my story. The photo shows me goosing it and falling over the front of my board and missing out on a possible cover up if not a tube.
My mate has photo evidence of me jumping of my board at the end of a close out. Thats my story. The photo shows me goosing it and falling over the front of my board and missing out on a possible cover up if not a tube.
I nominate the kiwi fella who paddled straight out to the first guy he saw from the carpark, me, sitting on a C grade bank by myself, dropped in, then blamed the city crowds for his misdeed.
Zero empathy shown.
Or returned 
Select to expand quoteMickPC said..
I'd like to nominate myself for kook of the year. After careful consideration I can't recall a surf worse than the one I had today & it wasn't the waves fault. There were a few fun ones coming through & I saw some blokes surfing really well.
I mean I've had days where the banks are straight & I've been struggling to pull off a few insta floaters, like take off, straight into a slow speed floater ending. Or the time I walked miles down a SW beach to a remote reefie, paddled straight out into a big set & snapped my board without catching one wave. Times like that suck, but today just felt like total what the fark, don't bother picking up any lotto tickets on the way home.
To start with I planned on heading out the keyhole of my local. Waves were like breaking over the reef to the South side & washing out the keyhole pretty fast. Looked great for a quick entry out the back. I waded through the waist deep water & just as I sprung onto my stomach to paddle out, my legrope got caught around a rock. So I'm laying on my board sinking underwater from the pull of the strong current thinking hmmm ok. Got off holding my board trying to pull myself against this current to unhook or take off my leggy while waves are washing in hitting me making me stumble for great kook effect. Stoked!...After what felt like an extended period of kooking out I was able to wade against the current as a bigger wave washed over me. Unhooked my leggy & weeeee straight out the back in an instant, ready to put this BS behind me.
Some decent waves rolling through almost inconsistently & only 5 of us out. Couple of blokes picking the right waves & ripping the bags out of them. Conversation of if one bloke was doing the QS next year or not. Good surfers, but not taking advantage of their ability to gain extra waves. I'd take off on a wave & I'd either be too deep or it would have no wall. Paddle back out & this blokes like pulling a backhand air reverse. I just never seemed to be in the right spot for the decent ones, too deep, too wide or it just wasn't my turn to go & we were pretty much taking turns. No one was snaking, paddling inside of others after a wave. Just when it was my turn the set would break a bit wider & if I didn't call someone else to go I'd be too deep or I'd catch some grovelly small wave.
After about 90 mins the wind kicked up cross shore, it became inconsistent & a couple of blokes on longboards came out & kept paddling inside us. Really annoying when it was now like inconsistent one wave sets. So I paddled across to another break.
I caught one wave, it was my wave of the day. An off the top, some wall to pump up some speed into a floater into another floater & as I was coming down dry reef suddenly appeared. I'd gone a bit far. I kicked my board across the breaking section, landed flat arms legs straight out to reduce water penetration, then legs into a ball, arm over head as I got washed over into the middle of this reef. A reef azzhole reef consisting of heaps of nigger heads, like random shallow pillars too narrow to stand on & holes all over the place. I wanted to head back out but the waves were consistently sucking the reef dry right in front of me. I gave it one attemp but got drilled across the reef again like the ball in a pinball table. Thought nah fark this & just made my way in by laying flat & getting washed in, hitting the reef each time the waves receded.
Amazingly...& this is the one thing that counts against my nomination. My board didn't get dinged, pretty unbelievable. But anyway, I've had some bad surfs before. But kooking out on both the entry & exit from a surf in a big way. Just plain being in the the wrong place for like 99% of my time in the water really.
I would be very surprised if someone has topped this display of total kook'dom, this year or even in their life. I reckon the title is mine...YAY!
Possibly in the running . . . .
Sickest day of days at Strickland Bay, Rottnest in WA. 6 - 8 ft, light offshore, pumping A-frame.
Got out the back unscathed on my brand spanking new 6'3 step-up.
Dropped into a solid one, nice 6 ft, first wave of the set...... but it was closing out, so boosted a huge fly-away kick-out off the lip.
Wind caught the board, blew it under me as I came down from about 2-3m in the air.
Board lands deck side down.....
My ass lands in the middle of the board and my back onto the finz
Board creased in about 4 places, rails broken through, and fin holes in my wetty and back.
Next set-wave wipes me out, rolls me across the reef, and so I drag my sorry, busted ass and busted brand-new board up the beach....
Kook-mastery at it's finest....
Damn dude, OUCH ~! In the running for sure, mine happened in three's. But you destroyed a new board on your first wave, a close out & hurt yourself as well. Hope you were not too badly hurt & the I assume bike ride back didn't add too much to your discomfort.
I had a friend working for Western Power in the early 90's that gave me a bunch of $10 return boat rides & I went about once or twice a week for a fair while. Long time ago, but from memory the ride wasn't a short one, maybe 1/2 hour. Or did you take a private boat over? Heard a lot of people do that these days.
But anywayz, wow! thanks for the story. If anything you have an epic tale to tell for years to come
The holes in the wetsuit sparked a memory from about 1985 or 1986, I was 13 or 14 & a mate lent me his flash new steamer wetsuit, he was the first out of our circle to get a new wettie. I was still wearing a second handy I bought from Pete at Cordingly the year before, my first wetsuit....but anyway, the sand had stacked up really well behind that barnacle infested reef where you might usually take off beside on bigger days at Triggs Point. Mind you I havn't surfed there since about 1992, so I have no idea what it does these days.
But this one particular year the sand was really far out & there was a really fun left breaking from behind the barnacle reef. I had a few & then I don't know. Probably caught a smaller wave or one a little too deep & got pinned on that bloody reef. My legs were sucked under & my waist was wrapped over the reef with the push of the wave pinning me there until it sucked back. Can't remember exactly how I ended up in that position. But 3 barnacles cut through the wettie into my hipbone & I still have a scar from it today.
My mate was not feeling any empathy about my injury, he was so pissed about me putting holes in his new wettie he was still bringing it up 5 or 6 years later
I'd like to nominate a European bloke on a fun board at a popular barreling right in Indo
On my last surf before I was flying home the waves were about 4ft and sucking off the reef nicely
It was early in the morning but the lineup was getting busier by the minute
I waited patiently for my turn to take a set wave which seemed to be hitting the reef in the right spot.
As I paddled in I immediately started dragging my fist through the face to slow myself down for the barrel.
I could see the lip starting to pitch over but unfortunately I could also see a fun board and its occupant cartwheeling down the face as well.
Straightening out to avoid collision the lip pretty much land on top of me sending me for a trip over the coral reef.
As I was spinning I could feel the Euro leggy tightening around my neck as well.
When I came up after being bounced, cut up, choked the thing that annoyed me most was straightening out for the barrel.
All the Euro said was "I am rookie. Tell me what to do"
I think you can guess my reply.
Well I didn't even make it to the water, riding my bike for a surf and crossing a creek bridge with a little speed bump at the exit, thinking to myself don't get the nose in the spokes, don't get the nose in the spokes, so what happens the nose bumps into the spokes of the front wheel throws me over the handlebars just as two glamours are walking up the road laughing at what they've just seen, then laughing even harder at a hairy nut poking through a hole in my wettie,not my finest hour.
Ha ha. Similar but different... double gees were a scurge when I was a grom, and my old man found these semi-solid tubeless tyres that looked like the ticket to punctureless grom independence.
So there I am, board under arm, wettie on, still 4.5kms from destination, flying down the biggest decline of the journey, when I have to hug the kerb because of an overtaking car. Go over the savage rut without any suspension that a tubed wheel would offer, the rim gets a 30* kink in it stopping my progress rather dramatically.
There I am, trying to keep my only surfboard, my prized and cherished, hard-earned, wax-salt-sand-encrusted, board-sock-enveloping, sunken-decked-pig-in-all-honesty-of-a-weapon from touching the road as I skim across the not-too-foul conditioned asphalt like super-tool. Skin lost. Elastic threads lost. Resin and foam lost. Self respect lost. U-turn performed with a cruel walk of shame
Stoke? Yeewwwwww!! Ding repair practice opportunity!!!
lol...
Boring & nerdy...but spending about 3 hours typing up a Hawaii story last Saturday knocking back a few pints of vodka with passito. Finished about 1530, thinking great I'll have time to upload some pics as well. Just about 1/2 way through proof reading this notepad document when the power goes out for like a second. Restarting the computer, I'm like, wait what, hang'on does that mean...escalating screams of "farrrk" ensue....
Everyone in the lineup including me.......
Who makes rogue sets that are 3 x bigger than any wave of the morning, Huey has a sick sick sense of humour.
mick your Hawaii assignment is also due
Select to expand quoteRazzonater said..
mick your Hawaii assignment is also due
What he said..
K so I had a chance to slip out for a few waves this morning, about head high bit of a fast wall I thought looked good to try out a quad setup on a new board.
I bought these thruster set of fins off ebay called "Awol" a few weeks back, good buy, usually $47 but I had a coupon code for $10 off, making them $37 postage included. They came & ended up being pretty good quality.
But after using XL shaper fins sides & a solus rear in futures on another board I was chasing more drive. I whacked the Awol fronts on & another cheap ebay set from a company Surf Eclipse, which was also based in NSW but sadly seemingly bailed the fin supply scene. I got a couple of 5 fin setups from him for $60 & a couple of fin replacements in the past.
Anyway I used some rear quads called HX from Surf eclipse & these Awol fronts...
The fin boxes on the new board are pretty tight. I whacked the fins in, gave them a whack with my hand to check they were in good & out I went.
Caught some waves & was liking the way this board felt. Heaps more drive, I could get a good pace go'n.
Went to take off late on this overhead left bomb I'd paddled out too but it went awry. I smashed the bottom of my foot through both fins I guess, really fark'n hurt, thought I'd cut my foot open. Was stoked to see just a bit of a scratch & I guess the inside will be bruised tomorrow. But yeah stoked I wasn't bleeding.
Another left came through, took off easily went to lean into a bottom turn & slipped straight out. Flipped the board over & I've lost a fin from 2 different sets of fins (both left sides). The Awols, may as well go awol unless the supplier has a spare side, probably not & the old 5 fin set is reduced to a thruster set...fark'n spew'n... the bright side is I didn't cut my foot open 7 weeks before a trip to Bali.
And ummmm, yeah looking at the fin screws they were not screwed in enough but the fin box was just tight enough to trick me into thinking they were in good.
Message sent to Awol in the hope of a replacement & a new 5 fin set of AM2's on the way from Wetfins for $135.
Stay tuned for the next kook story where I over tighten the next set of fins 
I would like to nominate myself. For having the courage to WATCH people surf 100ft waves at Nazare on youtube. Seriously though they must be mad! I got dumped Swimming in a set of 2.5-3 metre waves at straddle once when I was 12. Gave me a bit of a scare going under without a fully taking a breath. You would die under 30ft of white water.
Regards Mick
Me. Today. Planned a lunchtime paddle. Kept just down the coast from where a couple of others were sitting out. Gee, I thought, those guys are a bit far out. No wonder they weren't catching anyway. Anyway I scratched around. Didn't make any walls, caught closeouts, generally kooked on everything. Blame the equipment, wax isn't as sticky these days. Why aren't those guys paddling for anything? At least I'm doing better than they are....
Maybe because they were the Scarboro lifesaving club buoys..........
Select to expand quoteJulianRoss said..
Me. Today. Planned a lunchtime paddle. Kept just down the coast from where a couple of others were sitting out. Gee, I thought, those guys are a bit far out. No wonder they weren't catching anyway. Anyway I scratched around. Didn't make any walls, caught closeouts, generally kooked on everything. Blame the equipment, wax isn't as sticky these days. Why aren't those guys paddling for anything? At least I'm doing better than they are....
Maybe because they were the Scarboro lifesaving club buoys..........
Its a bit like that at that stretch of beach lately, most sessions I manage one or two good ones from being really patient.
Yes. It is winter, but it's also woefully puss along any stretch that I care to navigate. What with lost sand or straight banks or backwash or weed or sup ar$eholery, even a beaut day like today was uninspiring.
Scootering around the Bukit taking gopro vids waiting for the tide to drop. Thinking I'm the tide guide king getting 3 nice barrels at Balangan before cartwheeling on the reef on my 4th tearing up my hand with 4 days to go Fingers crossed duckdiving & popups aren't gonna suck too hard 
Select to expand quoteMickPC said..
Scootering around the Bukit taking gopro vids waiting for the tide to drop. Thinking I'm the tide guide king getting 3 nice barrels at Balangan before cartwheeling on the reef on my 4th tearing up my hand with 4 days to go Fingers crossed duckdiving & popups aren't gonna suck too hard
Bandage and duck tape Mick wont matter getting it wet for a few days wont have time for a volcano to form
Still sounds like you have had a few waves looking forward to the report 
